What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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