I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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