New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
