I got chris browned last night
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
birth control should be required to get into college
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
