Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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