You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I bet he comes in French.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize