How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
