I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Every concussion has its silver lining
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I got inside last night via doggy door
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
True college students do jello shots in the library
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
