A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
