Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
