There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
