Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I am naked and annoyed.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
