Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
