my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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