I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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