I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
