i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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