my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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