More tranny stories later!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
