S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
