First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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