i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
