Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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