just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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