Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
