My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
