I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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