Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
