Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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