Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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