just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
