He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize