Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
