you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
