I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
