Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
