guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
