We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize