I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
false alarm, still single
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