words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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