batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i think im in europe. pls send help
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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