He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
