I think I am morally bankrupt
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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