i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
