i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
be right there i have to get my cape
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
