I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize