Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
