im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
