Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
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