Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
do nipples grow back?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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