i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
