it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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