Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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