Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
