whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
