she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
