I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
