if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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